Prayer

I’m here spitting words as they leap from my mouth,

Although some consider me to be unreal,

I really know how to feel. I’m not perfect at it, but I’m trying

Trying To fight back these things that, leave my soul dry

I’m trying to love purely

But my carnal security blanket of comparison

Keeps me safe from the guilt baring wind.

I know that I don't know everything

But I’m trying to understand how your feeling

I’m feeling, how they’re feeling

My mind is sticky, like a child’s sucker, that fell from his mouth in the care seat. I’m picking up everything, and trying to rip the dirt from my brain.

I know that being virtuous today makes people point fingers

I’m not about to complain, because my life is at the top of pyramid,

I’m the first to see the sunrise, and the last to see it fall

This light warming my understanding, as I stand rapt in awe

I keep tripping falling on my face,

And when the thieves sneak into my house and take me

Beat me to the breath of death,

Steal my sincerity and call it formality, break the bones of my self asteem, strip me of my cloths and say that I don't know what It means to live

I lay there broken and scared,

The silence filling my every vein

As I breathe quietly, waiting and wanting and waiting and wanting

The muscles in my back begin to detach and relax

My hunched spine begins to feel warm, then a spark that starts in my heart and is pumped to every extremity, fills me with light.

Then ideas, that sound a lot like my answer begin to flood.

Understanding, and love begins in my limp hands to my quivering wrist into my shattered arms in though my lowly heart, pumped to my shaking legs, ankles and toes, then finally, its taken to my mind.

my soul understands the solution before my brain does.

My soul full of faith my brain full of doubt,

That's why it is always the last one to get an answer from God

Because the rest of my body must comprehend first before the doubt in my brain gets to.

I begin to pluck the weeds from my heart, every root clinging to the valves, so every time I pull, my heart ache, turns into a heart attach.

But then my soul is strengthened with sweet flashlights angels dance their way from heaven .

My hands sink deep into the cleared way soul, the softness of the ground surprises

Apparently, those things that I thought were fine, were ripping out the spine of my soul. And damming the river that nourishes the garden.

As I feel the light soil make its way into my finger nails, and fill the cracks in my knuckles

I notice that a box of flowers, addressed to my heart. Signed God

With a note that said, “I picked these flowers just for you, use them”

As I plant each bright colored apprehension, in the faint veins of the peddles were written words,

I copy each sentence line and verse.

I carry those words written on my heart

Show them to you, and beg

tread lightly.

Although my works may be imperfect, my spelling schewed, my mind young.

I feel the running of water leave my tongue and begin to bleed the perfectly painted painting,

the blues, violets, and oranges begin to hesitantly mix, they swirl dancing around each other without touching. Her eyes the one thing unchanged

Taking the painting that was once perfectly His, and making it perfectly ours

Me I sit and watch, as God paints.

I then set the picture of myself against the shed in my garden, it begins to rain

Each drop lifting the rough spaces on my face, darkness shifting, lines changing,

And I finally see who I’m supposed to be.

I wasn't the one who said, He am I send me.

But God still has a purpose even if I can’t see it clearly.

As I return from my garden, the sun peaks though the billowing rain clouds I see my picture one last time. The flowers begin to sing, the words begin to rhyme,

And I hear the Song of God for the first time.

I feel my transgressions, lift, my sins cleaned, my heart changed, my soul sanctified.

My hands no longer tied, I am born once again like the sand after a tide, the seething foam pulled away, to leave everything smooth and shining.

I feel a comforting hand, as I write my poetry in the sand,

She looks at me, smile shining in the fading light.

We walk the beach. Together.